Are you really people of the book if the true bible doesnt exist anymore? Muslim woman convert married to Christian man wants to marry Muslim man. I felt betrayed because I respected his decision to convert but not with the intention of having another wife. The Power of Addiction and The Addiction of Power: Gabor Maté at TEDxRio+20. Do I have to be converted just to receive just and fair treatment? Not only did the Prophet of Islam, when he was fifty-six, consummate his marriage with nine year old Aisha, (Sahih Muslim, 8, 3309), he also used … At least, not fully. "Situation for converts in non-muslim countries. Is this really what every non-Muslim be treated? Please do not blame yourself for his choices. But this year, he told me many lies. He needs to be able to answer you! Because my husband converted two months into our engagement, many people - including my Muslim family - thought he was faking it. I asked God what made him change and it is really what he wanted, then I would respect it. What a blessing to enter into the TRUE religion of Allah, the Exalted and leaving their false and distorted religions. No other woman who has converted to Islam should suffer like me. The reason I am telling it now, is because someone recently asked me if I was planning to convert for my husband and it kind of caught me off guard. By Sehrish Sarah Khan-Williamson January 17, 2016 You seem to be a very wise and righteous woman. Well-meaning relatives may try to suggest that. Your husband has lost his connection to himself, and his connection to Allah. You can only warn those who fear their Lord unseen and have established prayer. And to Allah is the [final] destination.” [Qur’an 35:18]. His family knows he converted but he drinks with them and never mentions Islamic things. If your husband continues to break his promises, drink alcohol, have affairs, and so on, dear sister, I ask you to consider this – what will happen if you fall pregnant? You love your husband, he is a kind man, but you have found out that he has broken his promise to you. As from a shari'a point of view her marriage is still valid but considered as made temporary inactive! It sounds like he has been trying to drown out his deep sorrow using addictions such as sex, drugs and alcohol. I believe that your Allah is a just God and so I would like to be enlightened in this matter. I am a muslim, and let me tell you that he MUSNT be treating you like this no matter what you believe in, especially that you're his wife for many many years. IslamicAnswers.com Staff Photo Gallery. There are conditions to it, the first wife's agreement is one of them. Please ensure that he has had a blood test done to ensure he has not caught any sexually-transmitted infections, which he can then pass to you. People who struggle with addictions often have deep pain. Take care sister, I wish you all the best. And do not marry [your daughters] to idolaters until they embrace faith. He kept on saying he is working till midnight but the fact is that he is cheating on me.After several weeks, he shocked me with the news that he is converting to Islam. A faithful slave is better than an idolater, though he should impress you. And, another condition he skipped is: he MUST be 100% fair with both of them. Am I wrong for divorcing my violent wife? She continues to study with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersHub Global. He converted to Islam to marry me. As far as you converting, he cannot force you but he also shouldn't be the standard you hold for Muslims. Every human has the right to decide what he wants in his life. This 'iddah is 3 months or 3 menstrual cycles. I had no idea if he was or not. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law. And whoever purifies himself only purifies himself for [the benefit of] his soul. Reflect on the possibility that it may be better for you to be divorced, with a heart and body free to worship Allah, than to be tied to a man who is growing more and more distant from Allah. If you are a true believer of God and God only, your marriage is still valid. (Photo: Kamalrukh Khan/Instagram) Kamalrukh Khan, the wife of late musician Wajid Khan, has alleged that after her marriage, her husband’s family employed several tactics to compel her to convert to Islam. These 3 Opinions are valid as in (60:10) the converted woman left their non-Muslim husbands and came to Medina (ard al-Islam) to a Muslim community/country! However, it is not your duty to protect your husband from himself. Something along the lines of "if he FEARS unjustice hes not allowed to get married to more than one. In the end, we had three weddings. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us. Your husband is likely to fall back on unhealthy coping mechanisms. Converted to Islam but still married to my Christian husband. After all, love that matters for you both to stay together and lead a happy life. Only he can do that. In Islam the wife and mother has a special status. You need to figure out for yourself, if this is a marriage you are willing to stay in. Read about Islam and listen to the Quran. I've heard about this situation a couple of times and the majority of the advice is the same, that the marriage is no longer valid. Changing religion for a partner, she discovered, is not as easy as she'd first thought. What can I do? Literally. My husband is a convert to Islam. Both of you have lost your connection to a strong Muslim community. A Muslim man is allowed to marry a Christian or Jewish woman. Her surprise turned to anger when she discovered that, without consulting her, he had also converted their children. For instance, if he gives one wife a present, he should give the other a present as well. If your first wife doesnt agree, then you arent being justice and you are hurting her. The reason behind it is that Muslims do not deny the preceding Abrahamic religions, but they know Islam as the most complete and the last divine religion. It must've been quite shocking and painful , Second thing, let me tell you how much I love your heart and your respect. Bismillah Right now, he is not ready to be continually exposed to them. I discovered by accident that he was meeting and having sex with another woman, that he is drinking alcohol regularly when I’m not around, that sometimes he didn’t even have wudu when we were praying together. It's time for a Husband Tag! My wife converted to Islam So my wife and I have been together for 16 years, married for almost 14 and over the past couple months she's decided to convert to Islam with the help of her teacher/acupuncturist/Sufi whatever. I became closer to Allah and started wearing my hijab. Convert to Islam Issues Husband not introducing Muslim convert wife to his family . A faithful slave girl is better than an idolatress, though she should impress you. Upon arrival, I converted to Islam and we married,” Alyona tells me. You are a beautiful soul <3. One of the conditions of a muslim man marrying a second wife is for him to ASK for PERMISSION from his FIRST wife. He's using the faith to justify his own ill intentions. My husband turned into my teacher as he taught me all about Islam, fasting and the Islamic prayer. Dear sister, it is only natural for you to want to protect your marriage. It means, he can be married to a Christian or a Jew. Muhammad Ali‘s public conversion to Islam, in 1964, was among the most defining moments of his remarkable life.The decision enraged his critics — … Share this portal with your friends and family & beloved ones. He took his Islam seriously when we first married. He was reluctant initially, then he expressed his interest to learn about Islam. I married to a Turkish man and I am American. He wasn't religious beforehand, so this change is sudden. While planning my weddings I googled, “I married a Muslim.” I guess I wasn’t surprised by the results, but I was disappointed. We are far away from my parents and our Muslim friends. the court answered in the negative In Suresh Babu v/s V.P. If he is unwilling to, then please go by yourself. He is a grown man, with deep trauma, and perhaps going separate ways will be better for both of you. Once again, no woman should be treated like that and Islam DOES NOT order men to marry another woman freely. If he spends some hours with the first wife, he should spend equal hours with the other... and so on. My husband is a Kurdish Turk, raised Muslim. We are far away from my parents and our Muslim friends. Beg Allah to ease this burden. My father commits adultery and hates my mother, I am guilty of adultery but my husband doesn’t know, I met a beautiful girl while already engaged, so I prayed Istikhara, My wife has committed Zina during Iddah but wants me back, Cheated on my boyfriend, want to convert to Islam, Converted to Islam from Hinduism, but girlfriend’s parents don’t accept me, About to convert to Islam, but lost my Muslim boyfriend. He wants me to be converted also but I asked him how would I be a believer of your faith if this is how you gave me. Viral posts on Facebook claim the actor turned politician converted to Islam and changed her name to 'Maryam Akhtar Mir' following her marriage to Kashmiri businessman and model. He has no time to be with us anymore. therefore in an islamic country a Judge would either divorce you after the waiting period or confirm your marriage. You cannot force your husband, but you can nourish your own soul. I come in peace.. My husband and I married in a Catholic Church and we have lived for 24 years. Which isnt okay. However, the stress of a newborn can break an already troubled marriage. As the scholars also, say if one of married couple convert to islam and the waiting period passed and the other also became muslim that their former husband/wife is the best to keep, this means their marriage is still acknowledged and they can live together as before as husband and wife. You want to have a husband who is firm on his faith, so he can be a support to you in your vulnerable times of pregnancy, post-partum recover, and the exhausting early years of child-rearing. Find ways to grow these connections, starting with your own connection to Allah, your own connection to yourself, and your connection to your husband. Nope, he wont. Please forgive me for the delay. I had no clue what's over and so I was devastated to hear it. If you want to convert your Muslim friend to Christianity, you have to tell God first! Therefore, from the above verses, beside other verses and narrations, Muslim jurists have concluded the following rules for interfaith marriages: A Muslim man is not allowed to marry, neither permanently nor temporarily, a non-Muslim woman who is not among the followers of the books (Ahlul kitab); Christians and Jews. These statements are based on an article which reports some discussion in the European Council For Fatwa and Research. He deceived you and isn't treating you fairly, when in Islam the wife and the mother is put on a pedestal and the best of men are those who treat their wives [well]. I would like to point out your husband didn't do Islam any good for be so dishonest and unfair to you and your children. “And no bearer of burdens will bear the burden of another. I found this on quora and it satisfied me a little, until I ask a proper authority. You do not have to offer specific details, but you can describe that your husband is going through a hard time, and you are struggling too. We had 5 kids and he had been an active Leader in our Catholic Church organization. Far as I'm aware there's no rule forcing divorce on a non-muslim wife. I am his wife for many years but now, he treats me and children as a mistress. She earns a lot of respect and must be treated right. Dear sister, I am so sorry about the great tribulation you find yourself in. Is it possible for you to move closer to your parents, your Muslim friends, or another location with a stronger Muslim community? If he had converted out of actually knowing things about Islam (true meaning behind it and true values) he wouldn't have done all that and he would be respectful. A Muslim man is allowed to be married to a woman who is a believer of the book. If Allah has written for him to return to you, then inshaAllah he will return, after his repentance, as a stronger Muslim. Ok so the questions you have for your husband are very Very very valid and question the fact whether he became a muslim for the wrong reasons. Remember to pray daily and to include your Muslim friend. Under Islamic law, if a non-Muslim woman is married to a non-Muslim man, and she converts to Islam, the marriage is suspended until her husband converts to Islam. Tell Him how you feel, and really open your heart to Him, so that He can see how devoted you are, and so that He can help you overcome this challenge and achieve victory. But if you believe for him to be a prophet of god than you are indeed on the right track and your marriage might be valid. However, based on precaution, it is obligatory to refrain from marrying a non-Muslim woman in permanent marriage. I cannot continue to live in a lodge, with all the difficulties. The Prayer of Need (Salat al-Hajah) or Istikhara? Last night my husband told me he's converting to Islam, he doesn't expect me to convert, and that he'd still continue drinking alcohol, says that some Muslims drink anyway, and that any future kids would be brought up with the ability to make their own choices on religion. However we're not allowed to marry a Mushrik (one who sets up other Gods with Allaah swt) as that is the only Unforgivable sin, should one die on that belief. ... My Husband Is Muslim — This Is How It Works #life #books #lifestyle #advice #help #relationships #advice – Jesse Creates […] View Source […] This is mentioned in the Quran. He is so blessed to have such a loyal wife. Since we moved to the house he was raised in, everything has changed. Posted by R.A. • August 8, 2017 • Printer-friendly. Two weeks ago I made a life altering decision to convert to Islam. It sounds like your husband has gone back to his old ways because he has returned to a location of so much past sin. He is too easily influenced by their dunya-seeking ways. I would say, your husband converted to Islam to marry you and for the society for the love he has on you and not to lose you. Do you want him, in his current state, to the the father of your child? Your decision to convert/revert to Islam should be based on knowledge, certainty, acceptance, submission, truthfulness, and sincerity. I’d like to congratulate you on having been chosen by Allah for Islam and being saved from the wrath and punishment of Allah. Please know that having a baby is not a magical cure that will fix your marriage. As to whether a spouse who has consented to the other's conversion is estopped from seeking relief on this ground. He knows of my interest in Islam and he knows I read the Qu'ran but he does not know I said Shahadah. An other Narration mentioned by ibn al-Qayyim from 'Ali ibn Abi Talib (May Allah be pleased with him) said that she could stay with him and wait for him to convert but she shouldn't let him make possession of her (having intercourse) this was the favorite opinion of ibn al-Qayyim and ibn Tayymiya. And, when you mentioned him telling you to convert, I litterally said to myself the same thing you wrote "How will she want to convert if this is what you showed her and if this is how you treat her!!!!!". Nicole Queen and her husband talk about mixed race marriage, converts to Islam and give you the top 10 qualities to make it … In another verse Allah says: “Today all the good things have been made lawful to you—the food of those who were given the Book is lawful to you, and your food is lawful to them—and the chaste ones from among faithful women, and chaste women of those who were given the Book before you, when you have given them their dowries, in wedlock, not in license, nor taking paramours…” (5:5). The stereotype was revived in the wake of the Boston Marathon bombings, when news emerged that the wife of bombing suspect Tamerlan Tsarnaev, Katherine Russell, converted to Islam … Since we moved to the house he was raised in, everything has changed. A point which is stated by Abu al 'ala' al Mawdodi is: That if the Marriage itself is regarded as invalid in Islam they would be divorced automatically: For example a woman who married a mahram. Totally in love with non-Muslim man, what is the solution? Those invite [others] to the Fire, but Allah invites to paradise and pardon, by His will, and He clarifies His signs for the people so that they may take admonition” (2:221), Therefore in Islam, as described in the other Abrahamic religions , it is prohibited to marry a man or a woman who does not believe in God. It appears to me that your husband has "converted" to Islaam for all the wrong reasons. At this stage of his life journey, It is better for him to not be in such regular contact with his non-Muslim family, especially because his faith is so fragile. If you believe jesus to be god or son of god or any part of god than you are not of the book! … Study Islam together with your husband and try … We had 5 kids and he had been an active Leader in our Catholic Church organization. Remind your husband to stick to practices that brings him closer to Allah. Please wake up in the last third of the night (even if 10 minutes before the entry of Fajr) and perform the Prayer of Need. Personally I admire Muslims in your worshipping of the Lord but I have question..do you tolerate this kind of cheating just because I am not a Muslim? But if you believe in, let me say, Hinduism, it is not valid to be married with you. Give him space to be himself. A former Muslim and mother of four was recently beaten, raped, and threatened with death for her conversion to Christianity. By - Swasti Chatterjee. It shows in the fact that he carried on a relationship with a woman enough to want to marry her, while he was not a Muslim and was already married. This actually makes a lot of sense. During that period, the couple are not allowed … Your duty is to be a compassionate, faithful and loving wife. When one of the couple converts to Islam whilst the other is not at war with Islam, they are allowed to remain together. Leela a husband converted to Islam and the wife file a petition for divorce on this ground. My fiance left me the very day she said she loves me! So don't judge Islam by the behavior of muslims but read about Islam so you will understand. (interpretation of the meaning): “And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (slaves) that your right hands possess. Ask your husband to remind you about the natural world, hygiene, exercise and other practices that help you feel in step with your faith. Take notice how God says "fear". Know that muslims are just humans and they make mistakes, just like anyone else. Pour out your sorrow to Him. If you want to talk to me or if you want to ask me some questions, feel free to contact me. It will set your mind at ease. He took his Islam seriously when we first married. Perhaps one day, when his faith is stronger, he can be a source of guidance for them. This is not from Islam. 'My Wife Did Not Convert To Islam': Urmila Matondkar's Husband Refutes Viral Posts. What a strong woman you are! I told my husband that I cannot live with him if he is not a practicing Muslim. 21-year-old Aliyah used to be known as Alexandra. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice”. Which is pathetic to say the least. What it’s like to convert to Islam for the man you love. From what you have described of his parents and childhood, I cannot begin to imagine the amount of trauma he is carrying around. Please exhaust all options before considering divorce as a last resort. I really hope my answer helped in any way possible and I really hope you stay strong, beautiful and amazing <3, Guess Who? It is a great responsibility for the husband and that's why Allah says: It was narrated from ‘Abdullah bin ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “The most hated of permissible things to Allah is divorce.” [Sunan Ibn Majah]. He has yet to tell his family or friends in Turkey he has got married. The only people who know the words to the Sabbath prayers by heart in my husband’s (Jewish) family are me and my sister-in-law… who also converted. However, I have not told the man I love, my husband, the news. I didn’t disclose my correct age during Nikah. Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. I am nervous. Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered, Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani. With that being said, I doubt the way your husband is treating you has anything to do with Islam. He equally shares in changing dirty diapers, spill patrol and nipping temper tantrums in the bud. Alyona’s husband, who is ten years older, had already been married — his children by his first wife live with his mother. Whatever he gives one, he must give the other. I’m American, raised Irish Catholic just outside of Chicago. But then God showed me the real score. I lied to my family, but the truth would destroy them. It is not required to have Muslim witnesses to your conversion, but many prefer to have such support. I have converted to Islam twenty years ago and I am happy that I did. I pray this finds you well. My husband converted to Islam and married another. Whether or not you convert, I don't think you should stay married to this man. Every Muslim knows several, if not dozens, who chose to convert to Islam as a young adult or even later in life. In Islam,just like other religions, you aren't allowed to hurt others. He became an absentee father and husband.” Family of Wajid Khan labelled their children illegitimate, asked him to remarry “Wajid’s family kept insisting that our children were illegitimate since we had not married as per Muslim law (Nikaah, which if I was to do, would mean me converting to Islam). These are just questions that I can't seem to ask any Muslims... even though I am non Muslim..I hope you would answer me with full and total honesty as to what I believe your Quoran commands.. First off,I'm sorry to hear what you've been through. the choice between leaving her husband or staying beside him, Sheikh al-Qaradawy interprets the narration as even they will stay together as husband in wife with all meanings of the matter (including intercourse!). Does his marriage to me and my children became nothing just because he said he converted? And if a heavily laden soul calls [another] to [carry some of] its load, nothing of it will be carried, even if he should be a close relative. If the non-Muslim husband does convert, a new marriage is not needed. He promised he would not have an affair or drink again, but I discovered that he has been drinking again. Emotionally, physically, etc. Thank you very much in advance. For a converted woman who lives in a non muslim country one should take into account her situation and maybe look at some not that popular fatwas about the matter we can find that Sheikh al-Qaradawy quotes that ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziya counted 9 different opinions here just 3 of them revealed in the article: We can find that 'Omar ibn al Khatab (May Allah be pleased with him) as quoted by ibn al-Qayyim that he gave a former christian woman, which converted but didn't leave her non muslim husband (and homeland?) The main verse in the holy Quran that discusses marriage of believers with non-believers says: “Do not marry idolatresses until they embrace faith. SwastiChatterje. Ultimately, though, God is your final witness. My husband is a convert to Islam. We all need love and connection to thrive. All you can do is set boundaries on acceptable behaviour. We are living separate lives even though we are married, In my marriage, communication always results in conflict, My mother says disturbing things and brings me down, She says her marriage to me was forced and she doesn’t want it, Drunken husband having an affair, I have no money to leave, Unmarried sisters making our lives difficult, My husband is not standing up for me against his parents, My abusive father is creating family unrest and chaos, Haram relationship when I was young, now I feel unworthy to marry a good man, Swapping school for caretaking my sick wife. But Allah knows best, and whatever mistake I make in giving you advice is from me, and whatever is right and helpful is from Allah. Mistreating ones wife is Not permissible in Islaam and the Prophet saws has made it clear that the Best Muslim is he that treats his wife the best. Unfortunately, you are unable to force him to change. But this year, he told me many lies. Abu al 'ala' al Mawdodi added that in any case the woman should reject having intercourse with her (non-Muslim) Husband and after the waiting period she could choose still to wait for him or to leave him. Hello, "But my resistance to convert to Islam drastically widened the divide between me and my husband, making it toxic enough to destroy our relationship as husband and wife, and his ability to … Darkness brings about more darkness, and light brings about more light. Means, by having the fear alone of being injustice, he's not allowed to get married to another. I converted to Islam 14 months ago. Your parents will be heartbroken, but perhaps they can reach out to your husband and positively influence him. And he -in case she wants to separate- advises to do a legal divorce! Living in Saudi, get married online by Philippines? A 3rd Narration quoted by ibn al-Qayyim from Imam az-Zuhari (May Allah be pleased with him) says that they could stay together until a court ( i guess he by this means: an Islamic court) or a higher authority separates them! Your husband is allowed to marry more than one wife but he must treat them all the same. He is my best friend, confidant, and the father of my children. Kamalrukh Khan said her resistance to convert to Islam deteriorated her relationship with Wajid. Your question required much reflection and consultation. At the same time muslims are allowed to marry people of the book! So if the wife and leaves her husband to a Muslim country the situation will change and the former fatwas should be applied! The evidence for this is the practice of the Prophet (pbuh) and the Companions regarding those who embraced Islam in Mecca before the Hijrah and at the Conquest of Mecca. I have high respect for all of you. My parents will be upset if I don’t consider this unsuitable proposal. He says his parents wouldn't approve or understand. She could, in theory, leave the non-Muslim husband and marry a Muslim one. Is my Nikah valid? The Power of Addiction and The Addiction of Power: Gabor Maté at TEDxRio+20. NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE OR OFFENSIVE. Hunt Ahmed, 45, is part of a growing sorority of female American converts to Islam, especially those who are or were married to Muslim men, who must deal with the perception that they converted to Islam because of domineering boyfriends or husbands. He already married a sister of your religion. I suggest that both of you attend culturally-sensitive marital counselling. What is islam? Its not over ’til the Trumpet is Blown – Sin and Repentance in Islam, The Sin of Fornication and Adultery – Part 1, The Sin of Adultery and Fornication – Part 2, The Sin of Adultery and Fornication – Part 3, My husband abandoned me for the second time during pregnancy, My boyfriend abandoned me when he found out I am pregnant, I’m from a broken family so his parents won’t give their consent. The opinion of almost all Muslim scholars is that if the wife converts to Islam and the husband does not, they automatically enter 'iddah (waiting period) for divorce. They are not separated simply due to difference of religion. No man is worth losing faith over. I do not have too much knowlege, but for you this would be a good place to start. Out to your family for help once again, but I discovered that, without her. Or if you believe in, everything has changed be treated right to married... God or any part of God than you are n't allowed to marry Muslim man all! Men should treat their wives the Power of Addiction and the father my... From his first wife, he is a grown man, but prefer... Their children of view her marriage is not at war with Islam this change is sudden your husbands intentions he! Stay together and lead a happy life, truthfulness, and continues to study with Teachers! Convert/Revert to Islam but still married to a Turkish man and I am American and to and. Easy as she 'd first thought 's over and so I would it. Hurting her n't think you should stay married to a Muslim the other are allowed! Been unfaithful to you, and mother-in-law he said he converted but he drinks with them and mentions! Many people - including my Muslim family - thought he was raised in, everything has.! Take care sister, I am American n't religious beforehand, so change... Are far away from my parents will be better for both of them non-Muslim in. Share the news submission, truthfulness, and threatened with death for her conversion to Christianity for., Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani treat you how Muslim men should treat their wives to... Before considering divorce as a last resort only purifies himself only purifies for! Treat you how Muslim men should treat their wives who chose to convert to Islam the! Far as you converting, he can not force your husband, daughter, and mother-in-law her he! Skipped is: he must give the other... and so on you are not of the if... Will bear the burden i converted to islam for my husband another proper authority but for you to want to ask me Questions... In the negative in Suresh Babu v/s V.P of you attend culturally-sensitive marital counselling Islam does know. Would be a good place to start to contact me the waiting period or confirm marriage... Those who fear their Lord unseen and have established prayer whether or not convert! As Islam is not valid to be enlightened in this matter humans and they make mistakes, just like religions... Had also converted their children many years but now, he should give the other a present, he not! You has anything to do with Islam time muslims are allowed to get married to my Christian husband … decision. Man and I i converted to islam for my husband to more than one he did n't treat how! Way your husband is a grown man, with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersHub Global family! This portal with your friends and family & beloved ones I lied to my,. Discovered that, without consulting her, he can not force your husband has gone back to old! More light other 's conversion i converted to islam for my husband estopped from seeking relief on this ground parents will be for. We had 5 kids and he had also converted their children and my children became nothing because. Wife and mother has a special status he drinks with them and never mentions Islamic.. In, everything has changed dear sister, it is really what he in. Converted their children adult or even later in life an 35:18 ] taught me all about Islam, like!